Speaking of Drunk

In light of financial woes, has Starbucks started spiking their coffee? How else to explain the EP worthy hangover I woke up with this morning? The last and strongest thing I had to drink yesterday was a decaf mocha from Starbucks. And while I don't remember any backyard antics or poker games, it must've been some strong stuff to make me feel the way I did between 1am and noon today...

When The Radio Makes You Cringe

Songs invade every part of my life. Like certain smells remind you of past moments, sometimes (often) songs take me back to a place or time or person. I'd say that 95% of the time, the memories are good. Even the sad songs usually only bring about a nostalgia about a time or someone I miss. Of course, there are always exceptions...

Driving down to pick up the kids on Wednesday the local radio station decided to hit me with Stone Temple Pilots' "Creep" and instantly I was transported back into one of those cringe-worthy moments. My freshman year of college I was at a party and, um, I may have gotten a bit tipsy. I looked up and suddenly standing there in front of me was my very hot friend. We hung around the same crowd (oh, and what good influences they were!). We took Spanish together, he gave me random guitar lessons in exchange for helping him with his papers, he was older and funnier and much, much cooler than I'd ever be and I had the biggest lust-crush on him. "Creep" came on over the speakers and before I knew what was happening, he was dancing with me. (Did I mention I don't dance? And when I do, I definitely don't dance the way we somehow managed to dance to that song). So, there it was...the crush I had instantly multiplied by 1000. And, then, as luck would have it, the same person had agreed to drive us both back to school along with a bunch of other people. When we got to the car, there was only one seat left and so I sat on his lap. 18 years old and there I was thinking I was having the most perfect of perfect evenings. I got back to my room singing "Creep", feeling drunk and invincible, and so I called him and invited myself over. Shortly afterward, I was in the midst of my first, last, and only one night stand and you know what? It was completely awkward and just plain bad. And that, My Friends, is what I think of whenever I hear that song...the naivete and drunkenness of my youth. Ugh.

I Can't Believe I Missed It

I was walking to the mailbox, thinking about summertime and blogging when it hit me...I completely missed my 1 year blogiversary! Last year on July 2nd I started this random, nonsensical blog and it's still around. It's funny how different I thought things would be this summer when I looked ahead last year. What's even more amusing is how little things have changed. Oh, sure, there have been some ups and downs that I didn't expect but in some ways it's a complete rerun. Last summer was a little crazier, this summer a little lonelier. Last summer there was a light at the end of the tunnel, now the tunnel seems endless. But I'm more settled now, I sleep better and my headaches are fewer and farther between. I'm still the same old me, just one year older. I may not post 15 times a week like I did at the beginning but I'm still here. Wow...it's almost like a streak :)

After Only 3 Days

I've gone and completely wrecked any normal sleeping pattern. I've had 3 days to myself and how did I spend my nights? Going to bed at 4am and sleeping in until 10. Somehow I don't think that's going to work once the kids are back home. I never learn, do I? If I whine about being tired any time in my next few posts, someone please smack me. Seriously.

Rewinding

It's the summer of 8 years ago and I'm in over my head. But, this time I pretend it's different. I always feel too much, think too much, want too much. For good or for bad, it's the way that I'm made. There's never been a touch of indifference in anything I do. Even now, when I marvel that apathy seems to be creeping in and I choose to encourage it, I secretly realize I'm fooling myself like I always do. There's something constantly stirring, waiting in the wings, watching for a chance meeting with weakness to show me who is boss. Unwelcome emotion always wins and it always surprises me. I can only sit back and wonder when it will jump out this time. Game on...