Mumbling to Myself

And then, the question becomes,

what's more real -

the parts you show?

Or the ones you hide?

3 Lines Heard on a 30 Minute Drive

"Words are meaningless and forgettable" -Depeche Mode

"Emptiness is not for me, fill me up, spill over me." -Dave Matthews

"I held my tongue as she told me fear is the heart of love." -Deathcab for Cutie

Nostalgia

Ah, les bons vieux temps ou nous etions si malhuereux!

A painful stretching,
Broken knuckles,
Half an ear,
A name forgotten,
Trucker eyes,
Bruised lips,
A bitter heart.
And, in the center, wholeness.

Incubus or Somnambulist?

This morning I found 3 dried flowers on my towel. I don't remember the last time I rolled around in the grass. Sleepwalking could have its benefits.

Conversations with a Friend

"For I have known them all already, known them all:- Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons, I have measured out my life with coffee spoons"

"And indeed there will be time
To wonder, "Do I dare?" and, "Do I dare?" -T.S. Eliot

29 North

I was driving home today on the endless stretch of road between Amherst and Cville, contemplating the thunderclouds in my peripheral vision. Worrying about the return of Summer 96 and Spring 01, I was silently composing an email to Rusty, needing to see a shit-eating grin on his face and hear his no-holds-barred words to return me to the present. I was cursing all the happy songs on the radio, more in the mood for angry NIN when suddenly a little voice was in my ear: "Mommy, don't you think it's a beautiful day?"

"Yeah, Liv, I guess it really is."

I wish you didn't have to turn 4...

Ten

My cold feet against your warm leg.
And I know I must be happy.

Yearbook

"To the girl with the lip of Elvis and the eyebrow of Mr. Spock."
I rarely raise my brow anymore or snarl my lip in jest. What else has changed?
Sometimes I miss who I was even when I can't remember where she went.

5 Songs With Perfect Lyrics

1. Anna Begins - Counting Crows
2. In a Little While - U2
3. She Says - ani difranco
4. Untouchable Face - another one from ani
5. Dancing Nancies - DMB

Creepy Neighbor

A study in Contradictions.
Feeder of ducks, Shooter of geese
You are an Anomaly.

You understand Unhappily Content
And the Importance of naming a Drink.
You perfect the timing of Serious.

I tell you the Secret meanings of my Words
And you forget about Judging.

I Hate to move Away.

Remember Me, Rumi?

Late, by myself, in the boat of myself,
no light and no land anywhere,
cloudcover thick. I try to stay
just above the surface, yet I'm already under
and living within the ocean.

The Same Song - Over and Over

Moderation is a foreign word that slices my tongue. I'd rather let everything die it's own natural death. But I'm never the only one choosing.

Lists

10 Things that make you happy:
1. Spontaneous parties
2. Cereal with cold, cold milk
3. Perfect lyrics at the perfect time
4. Sleeping in without guilt
5. Sitting by a campfire
6. Laughing uncontrollably at the dinner table
7. Stupid euphemisms
8. The sound of moving water.
9. Sitting in the sun, waiting to see what happens next
10. When what happens next is unexpectedly good

9 Firsts:
1. Best Friend: Amy Irwin
2. Boyfriend: Kris
3. Pet: Lady. A crazy Siberian Husky that made me nervous
4. Kiss: preschool – the boy with the eye patch - sexy
5. Dance: Ron and Terri’s wedding
6. Concert: George Michael – 7th grade
7. Car: 1992 Plymouth Sundance
8. Roommate: Amy Johnson
9. Screen name: Sharona

8 Lasts:
1. Thing you ate: chocolate cake and ice cream
2. Website you visited: Hotmail
3. Time you smoked pot: Halloween party at Clara’s. Morticia Addams stoned = not good!
4. Drink you had: A “run around the yard naked”
5. Person you kissed: Jeremy
6. Movie you saw: Rent
7. Person you talked to on the phone: Jeremy
8. Time you cried: Today. Almost.

7 Do Yous:
1. Miss anyone right now: Very much
2. Like yourself: Sometimes
3. Believe in love at first sight: Not really
4. Wish on stars: No. But 11:11 all the time and birthday candles
5. Take a shower everyday: at least
6. Have names picked for your future kids: Of course. Even though I’m done having children
7. Want to get married: Already got the t-shirt

6 Have you Evers:
1. Been to another country; Yes, but not many
2. Been in Love: A couple of times
3. Skinny Dipped: No
4. Lied about your age: Not for a long time
5. Had a cavity: 2
6. Kissed someone of the same sex: Not that I would count

5 movies you love:
1. Braveheart
2. Grease
3. Pulp Fiction
4. Life is Beautiful.
5. It's a Wonderful Life

4 Favorite Places:
1. St. John
2. Any beach
3. GW National Forest
4. On a ship in the middle of the night

3 Things You Want to Do:
1. Travel, travel, travel
2. Play an instrument
3. Do something unexpected and shocking

2 People You Can Tell ANYTHING To:
1. There’s no one I tell Everything to. Jeremy and
2. Rusty are very close

1 Thing You Regret:
1. Letting friends slip away.

Thank you, Billy Joel

I always knew it was either
sadness
or
euphoria.

Sad Tree

In the end, I always think too much