Again and Again and Again

So, yes, I'm doing the same old song and dance again and trying to be healthier. I swear I have the best of intentions but, geez, my follow through SUCKS!

But I'm trying again. Again. I started tracking my calories this week and, once more, I'm shocked by how little I eat. It seems that I should be much thinner because of this but apparently I don't starve myself enough to be "starving" but I don't eat enough calories to give me the energy I need. My metabolism is obviously paying the price. Strangely, unlike normal people that have to try to cut back on eating, I'm finding myself looking at 300 calories to still "spend" after dinner every night. This seems like a good problem to have because I like food!! The goal, of course, is to eat healthy things. I'm finding that I need more protein...it's been very, very hard for me to reach the minimum for my weight and activity level (umm...high and low, respectively). So, I'm going to track and think and try this eating right thing again. Maybe this time I'll see the scale move. Maybe I'll discover some energy. Maybe I'll just be better.

I've also discovered that my months and months of neck pain need to be looked into. (Duh). I was hoping that maybe exercise would stretch me out, loosen me up, and fix it. But now, instead of the pain just causing lots of headaches, it's decided to radiate into my back and shoulder and jaw and down my arm. Awesome! See, People, this is why exercise is bad. (And for the record, I am starting out slowly. There is no way I overdid it. My neck just hates me, that's all). And, yes, I do accept free massages. Thanks for asking. Please come soon!

Anyway, it's the same old story on a new day in a new month in a new year. We'll see what happens. Maybe I'll finally discover that willpower I've been looking for...

It's An Earworm...Without The Music

Lately I can't stop thinking about traveling. I guess it's because we got back from vacation 2 months ago and I'm ready to go again. I love planning trips. I love dreaming about trips. And, boy, do I love going on trips.

We decided a couple years ago that we'd try to alternate domestic and international vacations and I love thinking about where we'll go next. (I should mention that we're gonna have 2 domestic trips in a row this time because 2010's Disney trip was expensive!! But I love the Mouse so he's forgiven...)

So, for a couple of weeks now I've been planning and list making and budgeting. This year's fall trip is figured out and will be paid for next month. And you know what that means? It means that I have to start planning for the next year's trip and the one after that and the one after that. Because I just like dreaming about it so darn much!! Don't get me wrong, I love the day-to-day moments with my family. I don't live my life too far in the future. But a girl's gotta dream and this is what I dream about.

And if I've maybe already planned our vacations now through 2014...well, so what? I'm a freak. A happy, list-making freak :)

(and in my defense, the 2014 trip is still open for debate...)

Ignoring the Voice In My Head

I woke up this morning with thoughts of editing already in my head. It's a little early in the game to be thinking this way. There's no way I've grown past making a fool of myself. So, for now, I'll just type spontaneously and forget to look back...

Resolutions

Or maybe I should call it accountability. I'm not a big believer in New Year's Resolutions. I mean, I like resolving to do things. I just don't think it's necessary to wait until January 1st to do it.

And now I'm completely distracted by my dog, who has apparently gotten a piece of gum from somewhere. I'm not sure whether to wrestle it away from her or to just sit and be entertained.

And now the phone is ringing. How can I resolve anything with all this going on?

OK, so where was I? Oh, right, resolutions. I don't usually do them but I'm thinking maybe I should. I mean, I need to do all the regular things: exercise more, eat less, find more happiness in everyday moments, and work on getting our finances in better order (i.e. - save more, spend less). But, there are other things I need to work on, too. We are getting ready to start our home improvement projects. Which means I have lots to learn. And I can't wait! I also need to make more time for friends. I need to play more with my kids. I need to go to the doctor. I need to start a vegetable garden. There are a million billion things I want to do or need to do. So, I guess I'll think about it and consider making a short list of goals for the year. I'll have to get back to you on this...

Dear Vodka,

Oh, you make me say things that shouldn't be said. You convince me to share secrets that are better left tucked away. You make me forget myself or at least who I'm supposed to be.

But, you know what? Sometimes there is a strange sort of freedom and relief in that.

At least that's the story I'm sticking with...for now.

Best Regards,

The MML

P.S. - Thanks for not giving me a headache.